Facebook Reminded Me You Existed

I have either healed or my memory is bad. Or both. All I know, time has done its work.

It feels like I was just writing bad poems about you. Feeling middle schooled angst over unrequited love. You taught me yearning could make one physically ill. Being invisible to the one you longed for could dampen the soul’s light.

The other day, I forgot how you hurt me.

I damn near forgot your name.

I remember crying and struggling to imagine a world where the pain would no longer exist. Years later, those tears have dried a few time over. I’ve written a few new poems.

Trouble don’t last always.

Neither did my love for you.

Forgetting you reminded me that I have always known how to love deeply, even and especially the most undeserving. The ones who refuse to reciprocate. The ones who cause me to question things that should be unquestionable about myself.

Facebook reminded me that I used to abandon myself. I almost forgot. Didn’t pick up on the pattern until a few therapy sessions ago. Your name wasn’t uttered, but your spirit was felt.

Social media reminded me that you ever breathed my air, caused me to fill composition notebooks I’ve since burned. My mind no longer thought of you as useful information. My heart is indifferent to your existence.

Thank you for the reminder that the world keeps spinning, even when an aching heart longs for it not to. Thank you for being evidence that tomorrow is another day worth experiencing, unburdened by regrets.

Thank you for somehow being my muse all these years later. Proof that god can truly use anything to get god’s point across.

Hope you and yours are well though.